Fac et spera

You know, pretty much every grown-up has been through some relationship roller coaster that's etched in their memory forever. Personally, I've got this one relationship that didn't exactly wrap up with a neat bow. Even today, I'm still holding onto a bit of anger—not at the other person, but at myself. While we were in this relationship, we were both busting our chops to make it work, but somewhere along the line, it just didn't work, one doesn't want to row the boat anymore. She went through this massive change when she hit college again, started getting all high and mighty, acting like no one's busier than her. Maybe it's just my vibe, but it's like trying to talk to a wall. Misunderstandings are piling up, turning into a ticking time bomb. I can't help but feel like I'm more of a roadblock than a support to her.  I know I should move on from this sh*t. But I need to write this, because it's like there's this giant lump in my chest,

"I don't care what kind of status and relationship I have with her. As long as she's still by my side in my future." 💔

 I need to take my meds at 10 PM every day. That's a lot of commitment!

It's once crossed my mind, If we're still as close as we used to be, what kind of conversation will we have? I sure talk a lot about my newest favorite girl band with you. And I know, you will say I was too obsessed with them. Hahaha... Somehow, I think I can guess your favorite member if you happen to like them as well. And indeed, it's not my bias because we usually have opposite preferences. Hohoho… Maybe your favorite is Giselle, firstly because she's Japanese, and you always have a big interest in Japan, the people, and its culture. Second, you like cool and swag person, Giselle it is hahaha... or your favorite might be Winter, because of her beautiful voice, she's cute, and her dance is impressive. I don't know, I could be wrong about this, but it is a safer bet. I might still annoy you when talking about how I still adore Yoona until now and how beautiful she was in MBC Gayo Daejejeon as an MC. Then we will have another episode of "let's not talk

  I don't care about losing people who don't wanna be in my life anymore, I've lost people who meant the world to me and I'm doing just fine. But still, I wish that someday, someone would thank God for having me.